Hating and Loving -- Matthew 5:43-44; Psalm 139:21,22

How are we to love our enemies? How are we to hate those whom God hates? Is there a contradiction between Matthew 5:44 and Psalm 139:21,22?

Matthew 5:43 You have heard that it was said, "You must love [Greek transliterated, Agapao, a form of Agape] your neighbor," and "You must hate your enemy."
Matthew 5:44 However,  I say unto you, love your enemies, and pray concerning those who persecute you.

{Psalm 139:21} Jehovah, don't I hate those who hate you?  Am I not grieved with those who rise up against you?
{Psalm 139:22} I hate them with perfect hatred. They have become my enemies.

In Matthew 5:43, Jesus is referring to aspects of the Law and the Prophets regarding human relationships. On the one hand, the Law says we are to "love our neighbor" (Leviticus 19:18), and on the other hand, it tells that David hated those whom Jehovah hates. (Psalm 139:21,22) Was David out of harmony with the command to love one's neighbor? Evidently not, for we read that David's heart was "with Jehovah his God." -- 1 Kings 15:3.

Contrary to what many have thought, Jesus was not, by his words as recorded in John 5:43-45, contradicting the Law and Prophets. He was not saying that we are not to hate those enemy sinners whom Jehovah hates. Nor was he changing the Law. However, he is showing what the meaning is behind the Law and the Prophets, which does tell us to show love to our enemies. -- Exodus 23:4,5; Proverbs 25:21.

Nonetheless, Jesus saw that in application many were misapplying the Law and the Prophets in order to justify their actions for not showing love toward a neighbor. The word "neighbor" signifies those who are near, and the Scribes and Pharisees were in the habit of applying this to those who were near in sympathy, in sentiment, in faith, in sectarian relationship.

Many have difficulty with the idea of loving someone and hating someone at the same time. This is probably because we have been conditioned to think of the concepts in total terms of opposites, and thus cannot see the dual application as applied. Nevertheless, we often do feel love and hatred at the same time toward the same person, even if we do not think of ourselves in this manner. For example, a husband or wife may feel hatred toward a spouse because of certain actions, and yet at the same time feel a continuing love for that same person. Some have come up with the expressions: "Love the sinner, but not the sin", or "Hate the sin, but not the sinner." These expressions do not exactly express the matter scripturally, but they do come close to it.

The apostle Paul gives us a similar example, when he speaks of Israel after the flesh. Of them he says: "Indeed, according to the Good News, through you they are enemies. But, according to the choosing, through the fathers they are loved ones." (Romans 11:28) The point for our consideration here is not over covenants, but rather of their being enemies and yet loved at the same time.

Another example is in Jesus' words: "If any man comes to me, and doesn't hate his own father, mother, wife, children, brothers, and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he can't be my disciple." (Luke 14:26, World English Bible translation) Jesus is not here stating a hatred for father, mother, wife, children, brother, sister, and one's own life in the absolute sense of hatred as we are accustomed to using the word "hate". But it in respect to not allowing any of these to get in our way of being a disciple that Jesus uses the term "hate". Thus, because of the possibility that we would allow the Christian to cause us to be disobedient to the Good News, these are hated, but otherwise they should be loved. -- See Matthew 10:34-37.

Additionally, we are told not to love the world (1 John 2:15), and yet we should not think that we should not show love to our neighbor, even though that neighbor may be a sinner and an enemy of the Good News.

But for the Christian, this quality of love for our enemies must be developed, as usually the natural tendency of the sinful flesh is to not show love to those whom we would consider enemies. This does not mean that we are to love them in such a way as to love them in their sinfulness but as neighbors.


Related Written by Other Authors: (We do not necessarily agree with all conclusions presented by these authors)

Who Is My Neighbor?

Hatred for Satan and His Sympathizers Proper

Perfect As Your Father is Perfect

Abusing God's Mercy